MSM continues to report what it wishes the Pope said about condoms

As usual, Mark Shea sees the media coverage for what it is:

Is Beatification for Darth Vader next?

(ROME) In a startling change to the Catholic Faith, Pope Benedict XVI announced today that tossing people down elevator shafts could represent a first step in assuming moral responsibility “in the intention of reducing the risk of having your own son electrocuted to death before your very eyes.”

The Imperial Mainstream Media Center has taken this as a signal that the Church intends to canonize Darth Vader for his saintly courage in tossing Emperor Palpatine down an elevator shaft as he was torturing his son to death with huge bolts of electric Force energy. In addition, the Imperial Mainstream Media Center has also declared that the Pope therefore means to say that destruction of whole planets, as well as the subjugation of billions of inhabitants all over the galaxy, the betrayal of his closest friends, the slaughter of the Jedi and their younglings, and his conversion to the Dark Side “don’t matter”. But most importantly, according to an Imperial Mainstream Media spokesman, “The point is, throwing people down elevator shafts is now formally accepted by the Church as moral behavior and Catholic need to think about how to incorporate this new development of doctrine into their lives. If you feel that throwing people down elevator shafts is the safe and right thing for you, then,” says the Imperial Mainstream Media Center, “we believe the Pope means to say, ‘Do it with my blessing.'”

What shocks me is how people aren’t hearing what he said.  He said someone using condoms is at least – and only at the least – admitting there is right and wrong in the arena of sex.  This is obvious, yet anyone over 40 can remember a time when those pushing for sexual freedom based it on the idea that sex had no morals if it involved two (or more) consenting adults.  Of course, there has been a sleight of hand as progressives have made new moral absolutes, not the least of which is the demand for practicing ‘safe sex.’  Suddenly, it looks like there are rules and regulations after all.  All the Pope said was this shows people are taking a step once again toward being grown ups.  It’s still not good, and if we keep on the current path, the problems will still be there condoms or no.  But it is a baby step away from the now-abandoned ‘no rules, just right’ ideals which brought the sex culture in the first place. 

That’s it.  That’s all there is.  Just a nod, perhaps a reaching out.  It’s the Pope saying, “Let’s face it, the old fairy tale that ‘humans are just animals, sex is natural, and therefore sex should have no rules’ has gone the way of the dinosaur.”  Progressives and liberals have as many absolute values about how sex should happen as any 19th century Victorian.  So here’s a bridge.  At least when a person uses a condom, as in a prostitute for instance, but not limited to that of course, it admits what the Church has always taught and progressives and liberal secularists are finally having to admit – that humans cannot live in a value neutral environment, a moral void.  Human nature demands responsibility, accountability, and therefore standards and even rules by which we must live.  Great to see it.

Of course, as this article shows, each time the Vatican spokesman assures the MSM that there is no new teaching under the sun, the MSM responds with POPE CHANGES CHURCH TEACHING!, or CONDOMS ARE NOW ACCEPTABLE,  VATICAN SAYS, or POPE SIGNALS SEISMIC SHIFT IN CATHOLIC TEACHING ABOUT CONDOMS.  FWIW, I always get the hives whenever a reporter or journalist uses phrases like ‘seismic shift.’  That’s awfully subjective and tends to say more than is called for. 
 
All of this Vatican attempt to get the media to report what the Pope actually said, and the media politely reporting what it wants to report, reminds me of this little gem from the Onion Network a couple years ago:

Sigh.