Pain, You Will Not Stop Me: Thoughts On Depression and Anxiety

Pain, You Will Not Stop Me: Thoughts On Depression and Anxiety December 6, 2016

Seems to me that the easiest thing in the midst of pain is to either become depressed or anxious. Name the pain. Name your pain. And I bet if you look deep enough, you’ll recognize your tendency to swing wildly toward depression, anxiety, or a combination of both. We are told in our society that if we have any kind of mental challenge, we are victims. And yet the Bible refers to us (those who know Him) as conquerors. So – how do we reconcile the world’s viewpoint with God’s truth?

I want to clarify that there are physical causes for both anxiety and depression. I know that in a deep way, because I suffer from several health issues that are known to cause both. My doctor has advised me to take an anti-depressant, not for depression, per se, but because anti-depressants have a beneficial effect on the digestive system. And God knows I could use any beneficial effect possible when it comes to my digestive system (gross understatement). I have not decided whether to fill my prescription. My plan is to pray until I find peace about it. If the peace never comes, I’ll never fill it. But my point is: if you’re having emotional problems, see a doctor. Rule out anything that could be causing the issues. Do you have digestive issues to the point of needing to be tube fed? Is your vitamin D low? Do you have an autoimmune disease? Do you exercise? How’s your thyroid function?

I could ask a million health questions here. Point is, if you can’t find a physical cause, it’s time to consider other avenues of healing.

There’s a remedy for depression, but it’s not typically regarded as such. It’s called simple servitude.

It starts with looking outward rather than inward, as depression does, and seeing other people’s griefs and needs instead of honing in on our own. Once we’ve seen the need, once we’ve honed in on the fact that everyone in this world hurts in one way or another and everyone in this world needs love in one way or another, we can then start to think of practical ways to meet those needs and give that love.

Don’t give in to the temptation to think grandiose thoughts here. Servitude does not necessarily entail going to the ends of the earth to help poor, starving orphans. If that’s what pops into your mind and becomes your life’s mission, great! Go for it! But most often, needs are often displayed close. Right in front of us. They’re where we live day in and day out. They are in the soul of every person we meet. Of our classmates. Our sisters. The homeless. The grocery clerk. The dentist. The one crying in the pew. The one lashing out in anger because of a craving for love.

All it takes is peeling our focus off of ourselves long enough to see – really see – the hurts and needs of others.

Once we’ve identified a need, small or large, we can start working to be a servant. It’s not going to be easy prying our eyes and thoughts off of ourselves. And I won’t lie and say that if we start helping others, all of our struggles will magically melt away. What I will say is that the vast opportunities we have to love our neighbor have great potential to not only meet their needs, but to meet ours as well.

Servitude melts away sadness in the receiver and the giver.

Anxiety, of course, can look the opposite of depression because it is the opposite. Remember when Martha was anxious about the “many things” Mary refused to help her with? Jesus was their guest, and though Martha was the one who asked Jesus in for afternoon tea, Mary, in all her wisdom, was the one who chose to set aside domestic OCD and sit at His feet. And Jesus, when Martha scolded Him for allowing Mary sit at His feet without rebuke, said in essence that Mary had chosen the right path.

What was the right path?

To bask in His presence, and serve when serving was appropriate. Martha chose only to serve, frantically, with much anxiety when her Guest didn’t desire crumpets, but to be worshiped and heard. I can just picture her skinny little arms flapping back and forth, wildly churning butter for the date and nut bread she put in just before Jesus arrived. Making sure Jesus had two cubes of sugar. Mary one. Boiling the next pot of tea. Sweeping under their feet while they tried to converse about spiritual truths. All while Jesus was trying to explain the true meaning of peace. It’s a silly scene that causes us to ponder our own silly tendencies.

So the cure for depression and anxiety is twofold:

Draw strength from the Lord, and appropriately meet the needs of others.

We are told so often that if we are struggling, all we need is drugs. More inward reflection. More talking about our problems. Or other people’s problems that are to blame for our emotional state. But Jesus, who came to this world to bring us peace, said that true peace only comes through Him. Through sitting with Him, and imitating His behavior. Not through blame-shifting, self-focus, or medication. I do not find Jesus ever lying around depressed, nor do I find Him with an ongoing pattern of anxiety. You can bet on the fact that He suffered some anxiety in the hours leading up to His death. But how did He deal with it? He prayed, asked for relief, and ultimately submitted to the will of the Father. 

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy.

Not what the world (and dare I say pharmaceutical companies?) want us to hear. But it’s the truth. Is there ever a need for medication? Absolutely. Is medication highly over-prescribed? Most definitely. We must ask ourselves why suicide, when we have access to so much medication and psychological therapy, is at an all-time high. The Bible is often touted as highly irrelevant. Antiquated. But just because something is old, does not mean something is ineffective.

Taste and see that the Lord is good, the Psalmist says. Isn’t that what depressed and anxious folks need? Something good? Someone good? Jesus is what Martha needed, and what Mary chose. Jesus is what we need, and what we should choose.

So back to our question. How do we reconcile the victim mentality with being conquerors through Christ? We don’t. The two cannot both be right in an ongoing way. True, we may be a victim of something. Of someone’s bad choices. Of our own bad choices. But we are in control of our responses to victimization. We can either set ourselves on a path to healing through God’s presence and truth coupled with a life of appropriate servitude, or we can wallow in our hurt, be of no use to anyone, and sink further and further into emotional distress.

Our choice.

Whatever you do, don’t allow anyone, I don’t care what fancy letters they have tacked onto their name, tell you that you are doomed with depression the rest of your life. Your choices play a huge part in your healing. My doctor admonishes me to move it or lose it. Get up, he says. Do something. Anything. Exercise. Serve. Pray. Find anything – as long as it’s legal! – to keep up a sense of adventure, to foster curiosity and goals. Otherwise? He says I will succumb to my illnesses.

It’s hard. Some days, the hardest thing is to put two aching feet on the ground and serve when everything in me cries Give it up! Sometimes “serving” looks like sitting on the couch for a good portion of the day writing, reading to keep my mind engaged, or praying for my family and friends. But I am learning to be consistent at serving or else my own pain and negative thoughts will get the best of me.

Perhaps that is a sad lot in life. But sadder, to me, would be succumbing to negative thoughts and emotions about a physical illness I can do very little about, while others continue to suffer in need of whatever tidbit of truth and love and hope I am put on this earth to offer.

You know that funky saying that God does not make junk? I have to tell myself that a lot, because … I feel like junk. But I’m not junk. I’m a vessel being used to bring glory and honor to Him. Though frail, I am in fact invincible until it’s my time to die. My days are numbered. But until I’ve lived out every last day allotted to me, I want to do what I can for others. That’s becoming less and less as the years go by, and someday, others will have to care for me. At that time, my job will no longer be to serve, but to respond graciously and joyfully to someone else’s servitude – and to set a good example on how to suffer well, until the very end.

You, too, are invincible until your allotted day. So what big diff in this world could you make until that day arrives? How do you think God might want to use you to make a difference in someone’s life? I guarantee you — He doesn’t make junk. And He has a plan for your life, right up until the perfect timing of your last breath.

May you see that truth, grab on to it, and make it your own this Holiday season … and every season.

If you suffer according to God’s will, entrust your soul to a faithful Creator while doing good (I Peter 4:19).

Pain, you will not stop me. ~John Piper


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