Learn from me, for I am humble of heart

Humility is a word that gets tossed around quite a bit in everyday talk.

A person may be described as humble, but so may someone’s house.  “Oh, he lives in a small, simple, humble house without much in it.”

When people are quiet and reserved, they may be described as humble even though we know nothing about their thought. We oftentimes call humble also those who have accomplished great things but don’t boast about it.  “She’s so humble, you would never guess she has a fortune.”

Today we hear about humility in the readings.  Jesus says “one who exalts himself will be humbled but one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

This naturally leads to a question:  “How do I humble myself?”  How do I conduct my affairs with humility to find favor with God? as the first reading from Sirach puts it.

What is humility?  What does it mean to be humble?  The Lord himself tells us, “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.”  It is imperative that we learn humility.

For some time after I entered seminary, I kept asking myself this question.  One of the first books I read in seminary was titled Patience and Humility by  Fr William Ullathorne.

I realized I had confused humility with humiliation, they are very different and oftentimes confused.

After less than one year in the seminary, about ten years ago, my family went through some very difficult times.  There were false accusations, arguments, misunderstandings, death and lawyers– a situation I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I accepted all these things and kept quiet thinking I was being humble.  I thought being humble involved getting stepped all over and humiliated, no matter how much it hurt.  I thought being humble meant suffering injustice without speaking up and simply offering everything to God.

I thought humility meant putting myself down and thinking little of myself.

Many wrongly think this is humility: self-deprecation and a lack of self-worth.  This is not humility.

Humility is embracing certain fundamental truths with joy, I will speak of three: I am not the Savior of the world, I am not perfect, and all good things come from God the Father, including me as part of his creation.

1. I am not the Savior of the World – we have to accept that we cannot fix every problem in our lives or in the lives of those around us.  That is not our job description; that is God’s job description.  Being humble means admitting that we cannot do everything, that we cannot be all things to all people.  Being humble means accepting our limitations and being at peace.

2. I am not perfect – we must accept that we mistakes, we sin.  The best we can do is get up again and again with God’s mercy after each fall.  Being humble means recognizing our human frailty, that we leave this world the same way we entered it: with absolutely nothing.

3. All good things come from God the Father – being humble means attributing to God all the good things we have and all the goodness in us.  Being humble means recognizing and using our gifts and talents, which have been given to us by God while being aware that we do not have all the gifts.  There are plenty of people out there who can do plenty of things better than I can.

Humility is not humiliation.

Humiliation is allowing others to step all over you even if they are wrong.  Humility means standing up for the truth with love.

Humiliation leads to depression and a distancing from God.  Humility leads to joyful acceptance of all that happens to us and a more trusting relationship with God.

Certainly humility can help us endure humiliation patiently, but they are not the same thing.  Humility helps us endure humiliation and other difficult things because it reminds us that all things in the world are passing away and that only one thing is essential – God’s love and presence in our lives.

In terms of Jesus’ words in the Gospel, we do not need to sit at the place of honor when we are invited to a dinner because we already sit in God’s place of honor.  The greatest honor is to be a child of God.  As a son of God, as a daughter of God, there is no need to seek other honors.  A humble heart knows that to be God’s beloved is enough to be happy and fulfilled.

We are all called this sit at the banquet of Christ here on earth which points to the eternal banquet in heaven.  May our sharing in the life of Christ help  us embrace who we are, the beloved of God, though imperfect, made whole in his merciful love.