Tears of Repentance

Tears of Repentance October 27, 2013

[Homily for the 30th Sunday of Ordinary Time Year C]

I once heard a story about a young woman who died and was received at the gates of heaven.  She had not been very good in this life, but Saint Peter decided to give her another chance.  He said to her:

“I’ll allow you into heaven under one condition.  You must return to earth and bring back the one thing God values above all other things.”  The woman accepted the challenge.

The young woman returned to the earth.  She thought and thought about what one thing God values above all others.

One day she came upon a young man who had just been killed for his faith, a martyr.  “Ah, she thought, here it is.”  She took out a handkerchief and soaked up a bit of blood.  “This must be what God values the most, the blood of a martyr.”

She went back to heaven, but when she presented it, Saint Peter said: There is something God values even more.

She returned again to the earth and continued to think hard.  One day she came upon a young missionary preaching God’s word to the poor.  “Ah, she thought, here it is.”  She took out a handkerchief and soaked up a bit of the sweat.  “This must be what God values the most, the sweat of a missionary.”

She went back to heaven, but when she presented it, Saint Peter said: There is something God values even more.

This continued for some time, she was running out of ideas.

One day she came upon a group of children playing at a park, laughing and free.  They had no worries or anxieties.  They were pure and innocent.  At that moment she saw a rough looking man approach the park.  He stopped and sat down at a bench by a fountain, he began to look over at the children.  He saw their joy, their youth and their innocence.  He then looked at his reflection on the fountain and saw his face: sad, old, ugly and hardened.  His heart was moved.  He realized how far he had drifted from God, he was sorry, and he longed for the freedom, peace and innocence of the children.  He began to cry.

At that moment of repentance, the young woman approached him.  She took out a handkerchief and soaked up a tear.  She went back to heaven and when she presented it, Saint Peter said bursting with joy: There is more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance.”  She was allowed into heaven.

“O God, be merciful to me a sinner.”  This is the beautiful prayer of the tax collector, one of true repentance.  Perhaps the hardened man prayed this same prayer looking at his reflection on the fountain.

Once a person who had been away from the church for a long time said to me she was considering coming back, what did she have to do?

“Go to confession,” I said.  “You’re only a good confession away.”

“That’s too easy Father,” she said.

“It’s that easy” I said to her.  “God desperately wants to forgive you.  If you repent, God will embrace you.”
At times it’s difficult for us to repent because we think we will not be forgiven.  We deem an aspect of our lives unredeemable and we store it away in the corner, in the darkness.

Other times it’s difficult to repent because though we recognize we are committing a sin, it’s hard to change our behavior.  It’s hard to repent because we know it will happen again.  When in this situation, we can approach the Lord with a desire to be sorry, or a desire to desire to be sorry.  We must not get discouraged, remember what Pope Francis said during his first days as Pope, “God never tires to forgive us, it is us who get tired of asking for forgiveness.”

If you grow discouraged because you repent over the same things constantly, be grateful you are at least not adding new sins to your list.

Saint John Chrysostom called Jesus the “Lover of mankind.”  He is in love with us, and love conquers all things, even our sins.  His love is greater than our sins.  What a beautiful image: Jesus is the Lover of Mankind.  The merciful, faithful lover who awaits our return to him.

Today, we lift up our repentant hearts to Christ.  Hearts that long for the their lover’s love, their lover who comes to be among us and dwell within us.


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