Ba – a -a – ad Theology

Just when you thought it was safe to head back to Mass — or even go back in the water — here come the Priestesses!

Nine women, including one Canadian and one American, plan to defy the Vatican and become the first female Roman Catholic priests and deacons ordained in North America during a ceremony on a boat on the St. Lawrence River next month.

You can click H E R E to read the whole story. Here’s the sentence I liked best:

The ceremony, which is not sanctioned by the Vatican …

Really? Please.

“I only have my faith and my hope and what the global scene says to me that I believe it’s time to take this step,” said former nun Michele Birch-Conery, 65 …”

The global scene? Wait. There’s more …

But, two of the women, Christine Mayr-Lumetzberger of Austria and Gisela Forster of Germany, were later secretly ordained as bishops by their male counterparts in the Roman Catholic church, insists Birch-Conery. The two women bishops will perform the St. Lawrence ordinations.

The following piece (apologies in advance) was written almost 20 years ago when the Episcopalians were to consecrate their first female “bishop”.

BA – A – AD THEOLOGY

It was a gorgeous day. It was a gorgeous day for a consecration. The pasture was green … very green. Pentecost? No one even looked over the fence to see … well, you know. This was it. History in the making. FINALLY. The Church was back to its very roots. It all started here. Yet, for centuries, it had gone astray. Now, justification.

The bishop-to-be was nervous. Wouldn’t you be? History. This was a first. It was like a first step, a first kiss, a first love, a first … well, to put it bluntly: It almost seemed sinful. Everyone in attendance was excited. The air was a buzz. What was that smell? Incense. It must have been incense. Yet the aroma of the pasture was pungent.

Sheep. Many sheep were present. They anxiously awaited the moment. Most had waited a long, long, time for this. There had been fighting. The battle was long. In the end, the participants were few. But they were committed. Now was the time. And …

There she was! Her fleece seemed white as snow. In many ways she looked almost male. Almost like Him. Almost. It was almost heaven! This was it. This was what they had come to see. History. Make that Herstory. Finally, a sheep becomes a bishop. Wasn’t it about time? There was a great debate over what to call the new bishop. Yet all in support wanted to use their own language. Thus, it was settled.

They simply called her “Ba – Ba”.

Things would be different now. In fact, they already were! The beauty, the historical moment, the buzz, and the aroma totally drowned out the message that was to be found on the other side of the fence: “Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing” (Mt 7:15).

During Ba-Ba’s first public address she stressed the value of sheep liberation.

“For far too long men have treated us as chattel. Was Abel not a shepherd? Was David not a shepherd? Were the shepherds not shepherds? Was He not a shepherd? For years our blood has been shed for man’s sin. Does not the Old Book say, ‘Smite the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered?’ Well, this is a new day. We are neither smitten or scattered. We are one, slain only in the spirit. Thanks be to our God!”

And the crowd was feverish with adoration of their new spiritual head. Certainly she knew their pain better than any other creature. Some started to shout, “Behold the Lamb!”

“My people, I implore you … Who do they say that I am? Before you answer, let me quote some scripture: ‘How much then is a man better than sheep?’ Now, I ask you, is there any difference in the eyes of God? Does God distinguish between creatures? Well of course not! Not my God!” [She said sheepishly.]

They had waited for centuries to hear this. Just as He was a revelation and a manifestation, truly this creature before them was also qualified. It was time to re-write the Faith, the Faith of Inclusion.

“Just as Abel was a keeper of sheep — I, a sheep, am a much abler keeper.”

They all laughed. They loved her way with words, her sense of humour and vigor. In her, there was no doubt. She was certainly qualified.

“In the past, many were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd. I promise you, this will not happen with the advent of sheep spirituality. For far too long our gifts have been overlooked. ‘Woe to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks?’ Yes my friends, we have been treated as chattel. We too have a cause. We too have a purpose. We too have a God. Thus, we too have a calling! Some claim to be washed in the blood. It is our calling to rise up and show them what is in the blood they are washed in. Throughout the ages we have borne the burden of the sins of men. No more! We are witnesses today of the evolution of the Spirit.”

Some present — mimicking Abba, Father — started chanting, “Ba-Ba, Mother”. There was much laughter. It was a gay time. No more penitential worship of an imposing deity. The future was now. And all supposed that God, the Lamb, looked on in extreme pleasure.