Today’s broadcast is coming to you live from the American Southwest where we are … would you say “blessed?”
Jahdaze: Absolutely not.
Okay, fine. We are happy to welcome to our broadcast Jahdaze Modem, a Junior Demon in the service of Satan. Welcome.
Jahdaze: Thank you. Are you always such a happy fellow?
Well, no, now that you mention it. But I play one of the radio.
Jahdaze: …
Ha! I play one of the radio! Get it?
Jahdaze: No.
Sorry. May I say “forgive me?”
Jahdaze: Absolutely not.
Anyway … as you were saying?
Jahdaze: I wasn’t saying anything. I just asked if you were always so darned happy.
Oh, yes. I remember now. The answer is “No.”
Jahdaze: Good.
Hmm. If you don’t mind my asking — why is that “good?”
Jahdaze: Devil. Remember?
Right. So you’re not into the whole “think positive thing” I suppose.
Jahdaze: Please, can we move on? Ask a serious question.
How ’bout … What’s your latest project?
Jahdaze: Country music.
Country Music! What in the world … ?
Jahdaze: Yep. Country music. The boss wanted me to pluck up something good for the C&W; folks. So far I’ve come up with “Don’t Google My Name, O Lord.” You like it?
Like what?
Jahdaze: The song title!
Sure. I guess. I can try Googling your name right now …
Jahdaze: Not my name, fool! It’s a song! For humans! To cause them fear and despair!
And that’s a good thing?
Jahdaze: Look, pal … don’t quit your night job.
How did you know I had a night job?
Jahdaze: Devil. Remember me? Hell – OOO!
Right you are. Okay, how ’bout a few verses of “Don’t Google My Name, O Lord” for our listeners.
Jahdaze: I don’t know, I’m a little rusty. But it goes something like this …
Don’t google my name, O Lord
Pass your mouse over me
Don’t google my name, O Lord
Pass your mouse over me
Click another one
Just like the other one
You’re welcome to click on it
‘Cuz I sure don’t want a hit
[chorus]
Click another one
Just like the other one
Save my name till the bitter end
Come on and be a real friend (O Lord)
That’s amazing. You know it sort of sounds familiar.
Jahdaze: Of course it does. We devils aren’t very original.
No, I mean … it sounds sort of 1960’s or something.
Jahdaze: Look! I know what you mean. It’s always the same thing, is what I’m trying to tell you!
But … I don’t get it.
Jahdaze: Oh, I’m sure you do. Don’t waste time trying to figure it out. Just do it! That’s my motto.
Wait, that’s Nike … uh, do what?
Jahdaze: You remember the 60’s pal? How ’bout the 70’s? Huh? Well back then it was sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll.
Okaaaaay … uh …
Jahdaze: Well those folks are now listening to Country music and surfing the internet. New day, different drug … same results.
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Jahdaze: My point exactly. Listen, how about another little diddy?
Okie doke.
Jahdaze:This one’s yet to be titled … probably aimed at a younger crowd …
Get your modem runnin’
Head on the info-highway
Lookin’ for adventure
And whatever comes our way
[chorus]
Yeah, darlin’ gonna make it happen
Take the world-wide-web in a love embrace
Fire all of the guns at once and
Explode in cyberspace.
That’s awesome. Listen, may I call you Jah?
Jahdaze: You have no idea …
Click!