Interview With a Junior Demon

Today’s broadcast is coming to you live from the American Southwest where we are … would you say “blessed?”

Jahdaze: Absolutely not.

Okay, fine. We are happy to welcome to our broadcast Jahdaze Modem, a Junior Demon in the service of Satan. Welcome.

Jahdaze: Thank you. Are you always such a happy fellow?

Well, no, now that you mention it. But I play one of the radio.

Jahdaze: …

Ha! I play one of the radio! Get it?

Jahdaze: No.

Sorry. May I say “forgive me?”

Jahdaze: Absolutely not.

Anyway … as you were saying?

Jahdaze: I wasn’t saying anything. I just asked if you were always so darned happy.

Oh, yes. I remember now. The answer is “No.”

Jahdaze: Good.

Hmm. If you don’t mind my asking — why is that “good?”

Jahdaze: Devil. Remember?

Right. So you’re not into the whole “think positive thing” I suppose.

Jahdaze: Please, can we move on? Ask a serious question.

How ’bout … What’s your latest project?

Jahdaze: Country music.

Country Music! What in the world … ?

Jahdaze: Yep. Country music. The boss wanted me to pluck up something good for the C&W; folks. So far I’ve come up with “Don’t Google My Name, O Lord.” You like it?

Like what?

Jahdaze: The song title!

Sure. I guess. I can try Googling your name right now …

Jahdaze: Not my name, fool! It’s a song! For humans! To cause them fear and despair!

And that’s a good thing?

Jahdaze: Look, pal … don’t quit your night job.

How did you know I had a night job?

Jahdaze: Devil. Remember me? Hell – OOO!

Right you are. Okay, how ’bout a few verses of “Don’t Google My Name, O Lord” for our listeners.

Jahdaze: I don’t know, I’m a little rusty. But it goes something like this …

Don’t google my name, O Lord
Pass your mouse over me
Don’t google my name, O Lord
Pass your mouse over me

Click another one
Just like the other one
You’re welcome to click on it
‘Cuz I sure don’t want a hit

[chorus]

Click another one
Just like the other one
Save my name till the bitter end
Come on and be a real friend (O Lord)

That’s amazing. You know it sort of sounds familiar.

Jahdaze: Of course it does. We devils aren’t very original.

No, I mean … it sounds sort of 1960’s or something.

Jahdaze: Look! I know what you mean. It’s always the same thing, is what I’m trying to tell you!

But … I don’t get it.

Jahdaze: Oh, I’m sure you do. Don’t waste time trying to figure it out. Just do it! That’s my motto.

Wait, that’s Nike … uh, do what?

Jahdaze: You remember the 60’s pal? How ’bout the 70’s? Huh? Well back then it was sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll.

Okaaaaay … uh …

Jahdaze: Well those folks are now listening to Country music and surfing the internet. New day, different drug … same results.

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Jahdaze: My point exactly. Listen, how about another little diddy?

Okie doke.

Jahdaze:This one’s yet to be titled … probably aimed at a younger crowd …

Get your modem runnin’
Head on the info-highway
Lookin’ for adventure
And whatever comes our way

[chorus]

Yeah, darlin’ gonna make it happen
Take the world-wide-web in a love embrace
Fire all of the guns at once and
Explode in cyberspace.

That’s awesome. Listen, may I call you Jah?

Jahdaze: You have no idea …

Click!