The Ballad of Meatfare Sunday

This week’s Orthodixie Podcast invited “fasting songs” … The following, sung to the tune of Terry Jacks’ maudlin pop classic “Seasons in the Sun,” is stolen (with gratitude) from Rod Dreher’s blog:

Goodbye bacon, my trusted friend/ I’ve loved having you in my kitchen/ Together we’ve drawn out your grease/ To season my black-eyed peas./ You’re so good with eggs and cheese.

Goodbye pork ribs, it’s hard to die
To yourself; I’ll really miss pot pie
And steaks seared on the grill.
Chicken tacos? Steel the will!
Mortify that fleshly thrill!

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
But the meat on which we dine
For two long months we must pine.

Father Joseph, pray for me
I want lamb chops almost constantly.
Though I know it’s very wrong
I’ll inhale a grilled foot-long
When I quit this stupid song.

Vladyka, dear, it’s hard to fast
Fried tofu is pretty poor ballast
And I’m real sick of eating beans.
Emitting aromas most unclean,
The kids call me Stinky Jeans.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
But we are called to be ascetic:
At this holy task I’m most pathetic.

Goodbye kebab and tandoori.
Meat lasagna — arrivider-er-ci!
Beef tamales — adios.
No more gravlax upon toast
By order of the Holy Ghost.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
Protein’s in an eight-week rut:
Endless butter from the nut.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
For this devoted carnivore
Vegan life is a crashing bore.

(Chorus)
We had joy, we had fun
We had pulled pork on a bun.
Barbecue for me by proxy.
I’m sold out to Orthodoxy.

Send comments or alternate lyrics to Rod Dreher’s blog; or post your own tune below.

Image: RD & BBQ; thanks to tmatt for the FWD.