During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the church. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the church office as soon as possible.
1. I would prefer to sit in the… (Check one:)
___ Talking section
___ No talking section
___ Snob section
2. If talking, which category do you prefer? (Indicate order of interest:)
___ General gossip
___ Specific gossip:
_____________________________________
___ The big priest
___ The little priest
___ How wonderful the former priest was
___ The chanter
___ The choir director
___ The Presbytera (Khouria, Matushka)
___ Fashion news
___ What others are wearing
___ What others are not wearing
___ Your neighbors
___ Your relatives
___ Your neighbors’ relatives
___ Other: _______________________________
3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?
___ Doctor
___ Dentist
___ Child psychiatrist
___ Mother in law
___ Podiatrist
___ Chiropractor
___ Stockbroker
___ Accountant
___ Lawyer
___ Real estate agent
___ Architect
___ Plumber
___ Buyer (Specify store: _______________________ )
___ Golf pro
___ Other: ____________________________
4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)
___ On the aisle
___ Near the exit
___ Near the window
___ Near the bathroom
___ Near my in-laws
___ As far away from my in-laws as possible
___ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
___ Near single men
___ Near available women
___ Where I can hear the choir
___ Where I cannot possibly hear the choir
___ Where no one can see/hear me talking during services
___ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
___ Where no one can see/hear me talking or me sleeping during the sermon
(note: additional charge)
5. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
(Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
_________________________ __________________________ ________________________ __________________________ _________________________ __________________________
Your name: _________________________________
Building fund pledge: __________________________
Slightly edited; thanks to FWD from a couple priests who shall remain anonymous. Of course, those of you who worship without pews or chairs can, no doubt, stand each other. 🙂
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