Gathering up pieces

Hello, you few, you wonderful readers.

I told my almost sister in law recently that this blog is dying. That it is far easier to write on the kid blog (http://twoboysandarose.blogspot.com) about these little people who make me happy, or to write privately to the most patient of my friends about my private struggles, than it is to write here, publicly, about myself.

Because for all that I’ve written about politics, or faith, or current events, or philosophy…in the end this blog and the one before it have always been about exploring my identity and being, to answer the question, who am I and why am I. When I ask those questions here, where people who know me can read and react, I take the risk of opening myself up to people who would never be so vulnerable with me, or revealing more of myself than is ‘safe’.

So why write publicly at all? Sometimes it was a passive aggressive call for attention. Occasionally a very intentional call for help, and I’ve been very blessed by the support and love of people who, in many cases, I’ve never actually met face to face. I’ve used my blog as a sort of extended letter to distant family and friends, and as a public diary for my musings, in the hopes that some reader would understand what I am getting at even when I don’t quite understand.

But the purpose of blogging, if there is any purpose at all, has to be that there is something worth sharing that might benefit others. Mommy bloggers write about mommy things to share ideas, tips, trials and victories with other moms who might be better for the inspiration, community, and commiseration. Religious bloggers write to educate or inspire or evangelize. Recently I was inspired by the honesty and openness of a blogger who I do know, if only a little. I am inspired also by the community that has grown up around the PostSecret blog.

So I am thinking about how I can use this blog. Who my audience is (and how to handle knowing that I don’t actually get to choose who ends up reading here). What I have to offer.