Seeing Red

R3 Contributor

It’s difficult for me to understand why some believe it is OK to discriminate against an entire group in society because they don’t like or agree with who they are. The Civil Marriage Equality issue is the place where this thought flows from. Baffling though it is to me that biases would get in the way of a society making space for all of its citizens to be regarded with dignity and respect, I had to also pause and think/consider how my and others silence impacts those who are being treated less than equal.

As a plethora of red images adorned facebook newsfeeds and my profile pic stayed as it was; as I listened to claims of some that we must fight this in the name of “the Bible says…,” my frustration with Proposition 8 contenders increased.

Then I moved to a place of wondering if I was courageous enough or vocal enough. This thought extended to a deeper place of wondering how silence “feels” to my LGBT friends and relatives – I know how silence feels to me as an African American and as a woman when I am being overlooked and discriminated against. When folks are getting beat up/jumped by Christian folks in the name of “the Bible says,” what goes through their minds as others stand by watching the fight rather than jumping in to protect them and stop the beating? For me, this is not about theological perspectives on homosexuality, this is about basic human dignity and fairness. This is about seeing all persons as valuable and worthy of respect. To be silent about these things is problematic – whether it is this issue or any other societal issue. Sure, a red equality profile pic may seem like a small gesture to some, but what is small to one may very well be big to another.

It can’t be denied – silence and stigma are powerful and at times even lethal. They produce shame and result in more harm than good – oppression in its ugliest form, creating internal turmoil for those who are subjected to it.

Apathy. Neutrality. Slothfulness. Ignorance. All of these are fairly easy approaches to adopt when the pain is not personal – when it’s somebody else’s struggle. Side note – I’ve discovered that this is all too true in the area of race/racism and White privilege too – we must not ignore the impact of race even once the issue of marriage equality is settled, I fear that we will. Racial inequality in the US is STILL a problem. I digress – or do I?

Worrying about who will receive you or reject you based on your decision to be vocal is rather selfish when you really think about it – many LGBT folks go through worrying about the backlash/fall-out of self disclosure all the time, the difference is that it is more personal in that it involves not only being out as an ally, but full disclosure of who they are.

It perplexes me that many who oppose marriage equality do so on the basis of a sin argument – an argument that has proven ineffective at best. As I listen to many, it doesn’t even appear to be about God and what pleases or doesn’t please God; the tone I hear is that it is about “us” and how repulsed we are by same gender loving relationships. Besides, trying to draw people to religion/spirituality in this way is so futile.

It disturbs me that many who vocalize condemnation are not equally committed to walking with folks on a journey of growth. Not only that, but it is nonsensical that anyone would expect couples who are already married or who have been in committed partnerships for multiple years or have begun the process of gender transformation, to change their gender back to what they were before or abandon their partners [and children if there are any]. For kindness sake, let’s think this through rather than lazily relying on fundamentalist, surface dogma!

Also of concern is when Christians say things to fellow Christians that leave us with the impression that Christianity is a monolith; as though you are somehow not a Christian because you believe something different than what

they believe about an issue. It is as if to say “shame on you, all Christians should think like this about that,” because there is after all though only one perspective/understanding possible. Truthfully I am growing weary of the arguing. Surely we are all sensible enough to know that it is impossible for multifaceted people to arrive at one simplistic response or interpretation of issues and for that matter, scripture/the Bible.

Marriage equality is a social, political and economic issue that we must not ignore or be silent about. And beyond that we must never forget that is is not the only issue of equality that needs to be addressed in society and more specifically by the Human Rights Campaign. It is a big issue, an important issue, and an issue among many other issues.