It’s hard being a feminist and visiting a new church. I’ve recently moved to Texas from California and I’m looking for a church to attend. There are many things I love about church: corporate worship, talks with people of faith, gatherings where friendships are built, and opportunities to serve and to learn. I also love to sing, and my not-ready-for-primetime voice would love to join a choir with and contribute to other people’s worship experience.
In my past, I’ve been a member (or regular attender) of churches where I felt welcomed and affirmed. Yet, I always feel defensive when I seek out new places to worship. I question whether a church will be affirming to women and girls as whole selves – as embodied, thinking, feeling beings. I mentally prepare myself to hear male imagery and language for God and I pray themes of male headship vs. female servanthood are not expressed. I feel like an investigator seeking out clues to determine our compatibility. It’s no wonder that I’ve recently heard several people compare visiting churches to dating.
When I go to a new church, there are all sorts of characteristics I imagine people note from my physical presence: my race, my approximate age, my gender. If they are looking for such clues, they may note my lack of a wedding ring or my lack of a Southern accent. But I do not wear markers of my political associations, my feminist commitments, or theological views. I must look for signs that when revealed, my beliefs will be compatible with the prevailing spirit of the place or gladly accepted into its diversity.
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