Rhetoric Race and Religion
I still remember the first time I “confessed” that I watched porn. My ex-boyfriend and I were lying in bed after a passionate round of sex. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I turned to him and said, “I need to tell you something. Don’t worry, it’s not bad. It’s just that…I watch porn”.
I knew he was a fan of porn. I could even name his favorite porn star. But the moment I told him that I too watched porn, his eyes filled with disgust. The words spewing out of his mouth were not much better: “You’re weird, girls don’t watch porn. It’s strictly a guy thing.”
Of course, the irony was that we were sexually active and he admired my sexual nature in bed. He and I both enjoyed sex, but only he had the right to watch porn and had the privilege to be considered normal. If I watched porn, I was wanton, sexually abnormal, and unladylike.
Shame and guilt are inbred in girls at a young age. We are made to feel guilty about our sexuality. We are constantly reminded that modesty and purity are the most important virtues a girl can possess. Don’t we all remember our mothers telling us “Men want to marry good girls?”
On top of my mother’s lectures on purity, I grew up in a religious Catholic family. We never missed Sunday mass and, of course, I was enrolled in Sunday school at the tender age of 6. One Sunday, my teacher, Ms. Ling, separated our class by sex. The girls were left behind while the boys went outside with a priest.
Ms. Ling then went on to educate us on the changes we would face during puberty. For a solid hour, she explained what having our period meant and brainwashed us about the importance of chastity. “No necking, no kissing, no touching, and above all, no sex.” Nothing new. I wondered what the boys were doing.
The boys—I later found out—were having a great time. The priest invited them to ask questions on masturbation, porn, and sex. He explained how Catholics viewed sexuality and told them it was normal for boys to have sexual urges.
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