• “I support establishing Christianity as the national religion.” — 57 percent of Republicans, according to a recent survey by Public Policy Polling. Another 13 percent were “not sure” whether or not repealing the First Amendment was a good idea.
• “The three biggest problems that have to be solved are welfare, the debt and our ridiculous immigration system where we’re becoming the welfare magnet for the western hemisphere.” — Republican Rep. Glenn Grothman of Wisconsin.
• Alabama state Chief Justice Roy Moore is anti-LGBT, but also a bit confused about what exactly the B and T parts of that mean: “When two bisexuals or two transgendered marry, how large is that family? Can they marry two persons, one of the same sex and one of the opposite sex? Then, you’ve got a family of four or how many?”
• “Can this same procedure then be done in a pregnancy? Swallowing a camera and helping the doctor determine what the situation is?” That’s Idaho state Rep. Vito Barbieri during a debate on new abortion restrictions he supports (because controlling women’s bodies apparently doesn’t require understanding them). Rep. Barbieri directed the question to Dr. Julie Madsen, who patiently explained that a pill swallowed by a woman would not end up in her vagina.
Poor Barbieri is probably now rethinking how it is that those little blue pills he swallows might work.
• “If you have cancer, which I believe is a fungus, and we can put a pic line into your body and we’re flushing, let’s say, salt water, sodium cardonate [sic], through that line, and flushing out the fungus. … These are some procedures that are not FDA-approved in America that are very inexpensive, cost-effective.” — Republican Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore. (Note: Cancer is actually not a “fungus” that can be flushed out with salt water. Just FYI.)
• “If I want to let my child be with God, why is that wrong?” — Idaho state Rep. Christy Perry, speaking in opposition to a proposed law to prevent parents from denying their children medical care and opting instead for “faith healing.”
• “I do not believe in evolution.” — 49 percent of Republicans, according to the same PPP poll. Again, 13 percent were also “not sure.”
• “Each illegal alien will get $24,000 in compensation,” said Rep. Paul Gosar, R-Arizona. The tough part of fact-checking this story wasn’t demonstrating that Gosar’s claim was false, but trying to figure out what the heck he might even be talking about.
• “Mistakes were made.” — Former Pres. George H.W. Bush, former Pres. George W. Bush, and now former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush.
• “A strategically placed nuclear weapon would save the lives of our soldiers and quickly turn things around.” — Republican Arkansas state Sen. Jason Rapert, calling for the U.S. to nuke ISIS.
• “The Black Caucus … are really against war because they want all of that money to go to food stamps for people here,” said retired Republican Rep. Ron Paul. Whenever he says stuff like that, some poor staffer in the office of his son, Sen. Rand Paul, has to come up with some way of spinning it where it sounds less enthusiastically racist.
• “I come from a town where all the blacks are getting food stamps and what I call ‘welfare crazy checks.’ They don’t work.” — Mississippi state Rep. Gene Alday, who says his remarks were taken out of context, but was unable to provide any context, real or imagined, that might not make them sound stupid and awful. Alday’s comments, by the way, were in opposition to funding for education.
• “Obviously, rape is awful,” said West Virginia Del. Brian Kurcaba who, alas, was not done talking. “What is beautiful is the child that could come from this.”
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