Some look out into the night sky and see nothing but darkness populated with a number of small lights.  They may conclude that because they see nothing but what astronomers tell us is there, that there is no God. And yet they may be feeling a sweeping sense of wonder and may be sent into a vast reverie of questions that impinge on the meaning they have discovered for their lives. Are they believers or atheists? I have trouble choosing... Read more

A current reflection on a passage from an old book of mine, Dark Eros. Repression of the Sadeian imagination is a weak attempt to live without bondage, to be free of ties to ordinary life, to find some spiritual way that flies without strings attached Again and again religious literature of many traditions warns precisely against “attachment” a euphemism for bondage. . . . The person who has dreams and fantasies of bondage, who experiments with bondage in sex, and... Read more

I started taking piano lessons when I was fourteen and enjoyed playing, as difficult as they were, the “two-part inventions” of J. S. Bach. I’ve been playing them ever since, and so my life was been shaped in part by these supremely crafted little works of art. I wish I could demonstrate here how Bach takes a line of five or six notes and without using any other material creates a satisfying and complete piece of music. When I was... Read more

When I was nineteen, I was a novice in a Catholic religious order. That means I spent a year focused on the spiritual life—learning to meditate, reading only about spirituality, studying prayer and ritual. Every morning fifteen minutes of spiritual reading was built into the schedule, and for a few months I decided to read the gospels in Greek. The Greek of the gospels is quite simple, with a limited vocabulary and familiar expressions. I had been studying Greek, so... Read more

Do monks have sex? Most of the ones I’ve known are serious about their vows.  In my own experience—I was a monk for thirteen years—the vow of celibacy didn’t feel like repression. I’ve talked to a few people over the years who did resent it, but while I was a monk I never met anyone like that. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but the vow of celibacy can be a joyous thing. Monks are dedicated to living... Read more

Three years ago we moved to a new house on a mile-long lake in New Hampshire. It’s a rather small house, quite modest, and I like big houses. My family thinks my preference for a large house comes from the years I spent in monasteries. Those buildings had many rooms and long and tall corridors and huge kitchens. But our small house has many windows that look out on the pond. In New England a pond is a shallow lake,... Read more